walking with others

My best friend, Rob’s, daughter Steph, was induced yesterday a month early because of complications.   My heart was heavy all day.  I went down to the hospital to be with them as they waited.  As a mother, I know the fears when your child is hurting or in danger.  The baby was born last night, sweet baby girl, 4 lbs 2 oz.  She is healthy with a little need this morning for some iv fluids.  Steph has HELLP, which is like toxemia but worse.  Her kidneys are now functioning again, but they are concerned for her blood pressure and her liver function.  Please pray with us for her.

Friends must hold us up when we are battle weary.  Being a good friend is so much more than shopping, movies and girl time. 

Be a good friend today.  Tell her why she is special.  Show her you care.

New blog

I am going to continue writing  occasionally here but I have started a blog about living a balanced healthy life.  Please come visit me at  http://ahealthylife101.wordpress.com/

Much love,

Ruthie

Oh boy, what a month.

What a whirlwind.   I went to Hawaii and had an incredible time.  My sister and I had such a good time.  Not a cross word.  We travel well together.  We rode in a jeep wrangler for hours on the coast of Maui.  We snorkeled and zipped lined. We saw the sunrise over a volcano.  I ate fish for lunch and dinner for eight days.  I might could be a fishatarian, if there was such a thing, lol.   My nephew and parents were there part of the time.  It will always be a special memory for me.  Old family friends, the Broomes, came with my parents for the second part of the trip.  They are some of the sweetest people in the world!

When I came  back  I quit the management part of my job.  I will just do personal training and I am so excited.  I LOVE people and will get back to my first love, which is helping people believe it is never to late to  change their  mind, bodies and health.  I decided to start a blog that my clients could access and when I was doing it I accidentally deleted this blog. WordPress sends you an e-mail and say, “If you say yes, delete this blog, it is gone forever.”  I did it thinking it was another blog name I created and did not like.  Then I realized what I did.   I thought I would cry but after a couple weeks I e-mailed wordpress and asked if I could at least have the name really ruthie back.  The guy wrote me back and said he would re-instate it this one time.  I thought he was talking about the name, when I pressed the name, all the old content was there!! What a gift.  I e-mailed him back and told him good thing we were not faced to face because I would have kissed him on the mouth.  (I am sure he was relieved)

I have not been posting or reading other blogs because I have been so busy training my replacement and getting everything in place.  I am so excited about the freedom I am going to have now.  Please come visit me at

http://ahealthylife101.wordpress.com/

hello and goodbye

Life has been crazy.  Good but different.  Hard but satisfying.  Sleepless but taking naps.  Miss some of my friends, but making new ones.  Slow learner, but still learning.  Body pain, but so glad I can exercise.

I have been so busy that I have not been blogging.  One reason I have been busy is that I am going on vacation so I have been working extra to get work ready for me being gone and trying to spend lots of time with Candy.  Boy, I am sure going to miss my family.  They are sending me off with sweet hearts. 

I AM GOING TO HAWAII in a couple of hours.  My sissy, Susan, is taking me for 10 days and 8 nights.   We are going to Maui and Kaui (forgot the spelling.  I will send you picture I hope along the way.

So ALOHA (hello and good bye!)

Who me, couldn’t be?

Life is grand.  I am truly blessed.  God loves me.   Nothing is perfect but close enough for me.  (this is me not wanting to be vulnerable. lol)

What more can you ask for?  Well, the truth is, I have a laundry list of things I would like to be different about me that I have shared with God and He has assured me that when I get to the pearly gates the ones that are rational and best for me will come true.

Some of the ways He made me I really question or wonder if it is just my imperfection or response to past hurts.  I don’t like to appear needy.  I do not want to need people, relationships, conversation.  I want to be secure and confident.  The lone ranger comes to mind, he is there for everyone else but I don’t ever remember him needing people.  He got to cover-up and hide his true identity, he always looked strong.

Several times a year I am dead a sleep and God wakes me up and the first thought on my mind is some sin that I have committed.  It is so weird because it is usually something where I have judged someone or something I really have never thought of myself as doing.  Well, you cannot imagine my surprise this week when I was woken up at 3:46 a.m. and God showed me I was jealous.  Now I will admit to a lot of things but I never ever would have thought me jealous!  What could He be thinking, surely it was the devil!  Nope, with a sinking feeling I knew it was true.  I tried a couple different approaches to rationalize my thought process, I gave my point of view, and still I came out jealous.    I have confessed my sin to God and am asking me to show me His perspective.  The best part is that He has been showing me another point of view.   God showed me that there is always more than the face value and that makes me happy to be wrong.  I see my insecurities.  I know I was wrong.

Understanding does not change my needs, it just changes my perspective on how I need to get my needs met.  I am who I am and I am trusting God to meet my needs His way.  I think being open to a different way is probably the only way for God to show me His plan and for me to have peace.

Good Report

All is well at work.  There are many adjustments.  I miss my boss and friend, Matt,  but like Joey,  my new boss.  Joey seems fair and kind.  I look forward to working together as a team.

Thank you all for you prayers and support.  I have truly felt the encouragement each day.  Thank you for the support during my anemic adventure!

The great unknown

I start the day with so many questions, thoughts, and feelings.

Who will be my new boss?

Will he like me?

Will I like him?

Can we work together?

 What if  I like the new guy?  What if he has great ideas?  Will I feel disloyal to my friend?

As usual, one of my favorite verses comes to mind, “Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is of good repute let your mind dwell on these things.”  I Corinthians 13. (paraphrased)

The other one, I cannot remember the whole verse, “take your thoughts captive”.

Lord, my God, please help me to rest in Your arms today.  Bless my friend, lead him.  May he find you in this desperate time in his life.  God give me favor or lead me on, please make the path clear.

Sad day

It is hard to see a friend suffer.  Today a close friend had a bad thing happen to him.  When he was down he got kicked again.  Being there and having no way to help him was very hard.  Him knowing he was loved by me and others was a small consulation.  Knowing how to show him Love is not easy.  My heart hurts for him.  I am asking God how to show him God’s love.  He does not know or understand God.  He does not believe God loves him or cares.

Making LOVE in 2009 (Part 1)

Each year the Lord gives me a new word or theme for the year.  Last year the word was moderate, the year before it was consistency.  I really had no idea this year what the Lord would give me and have been waiting with anticipation what the new theme would be this year.  This morning I woke up and my first thought was LOVE.  This definitely was not the kind of word I thought I would get for the new year, I could not imagine where the Lord would be going with that one.

Truthfully, I wanted a word that said something about the way I eat, exercise and how my body should look.   I wanted an action word, a word that shows my weakness, that says everything I am not.  This is getting personal now.  You see the Lord has been telling me for years my focus is in the wrong place.  When I weighed 390 pounds (not a typo) my focus was on losing weight, three years ago I was a size 4 and my entire focus was on how I looked, now I am a 10-12 and my focus is trying to get to a 6 and then I will be happy and move on with life.  I keep saying, I just want to get to a good weight and stay there and then I will move on to other things, then I will live and forget about how I look.  (BULL CRAP)  It makes me so sad to see my self centeredness.  Two hundred pounds up or down my focus has been on me and how I look.  My life revolves around ME, ME, ME and how I look. This has been the FOCUS of my life for 27 years. Oh my God, please forgive me, please show me how to love You first.

I judged my husband when we were 19 and 21.  I said repeatedly he was the most self centered person I know.  The Bible says that when you judge a man you end up sinning worse than those you judged.   I have repented of this recently but I don’t think I saw how greatly my judgment had effected my life.  Oh God, please break this self-centered stronghold in my life.

Okay, moving on. (Very big deal for me, many more post on this subject)  How does the word LOVE apply to 2009.  As I have been praying I see how God can use LOVE in all areas of my life.

GOD:  LOVE HIM FIRST

Matthew 22:37, 38

Jesus replied: ” ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’  This is the first and greatest commandment.

Deuteronomy 6:5 (New International Version)

Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.

LOVING OTHERS:

Matthew 22:39

And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’

Husband Keith:  Love him enough to gently tell the truth.  Over this last year the Lord showed me loving Keith the way he is but love him enough not to leave him there.  Walk with him through changes.

Child Kayla:  Love her by letting go and letting her become the young woman God is growing her into.  Sometimes I am afraid to share ideas and thoughts  with her because I do not want to push her away.   Love her enough to show her options to think and pray about.  This does not take the control away from her, just another perspective.

Child Candace:  Love Candy by spending time with her, helping her find her passions, gifts and strengths.  (Art, cooking, creative things)  After we find them, help her develop them.

Friends:  Love them by being secure in their love and acceptance.  Learning to speak their love language.

Non-Christians:  Love them by living and sharing Jesus with them.  Love them by investing in their lives.

MYSELF:

Love my mind, body and spirit.

MIND:  Continue to read, educate and learn.
BODY:  Eat healthy most of the time
Exercise consistently
SPIRIT:  Make my inner man a daily priority  (Devotions, pray, meditation)

I know God will continue to show me how the theme of LOVE is going to practically play out in 2009 and I will share with you as it unfolds.

A great post by my best bud, Robin, talks about (No?) New Year resolutions.  She gives practical ideas and suggestions to helping me and you get a focus for the year.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!  May God bless you with your best year YET!

Good Report

Today is the second I have not eaten SUGAR.  I have not hurt anyone, I have not been miserable,  and no headaches.  Not near as bad as I thought!

Went to the hematologist yesterday. I am also most not anemic!  I am only three tenths away.  The doctor said I should be there in a  couple of weeks.  She explained that the reason my bones have been hurting so much is because my bone marrow is reproducing and it can be very painful.  She expects it should lessen in the coming weeks.  This week is already better.

Today I had a great workout.  It felt great to get back to what I really love.  SWEATING is awesome!  I worked out with my boss and it was a great encouragement.

Great end to a hard year.  I am really hoping for a great 2009.  I am really working on a plan to make it great.  I think most great things, accomplishments, periods in our life are very methodically planned and worked at diligently.  I am excited about the possibilities!

Happy New Year!