God I am listening now

I am really not sure what God is trying to say to me, but He has my attention.  I really thought I was getting it, but maybe not.  Yesterday I had my second iron transfusion.  I expected today to be my good day before the side effects started to happen.  When I woke up my leg was hurting and when I put my pants it hurt for the material to touch my leg.  When I looked at my leg it was swollen and  gross looking.   Keith looked at it with concern and we decided I might need to go see a doctor because it hurt just to stand much less train people on concrete floors.

I was at the doctor by 8:00 a.m.  My doctor just happen to walk by and agreed to work me in.  He looked at my leg and was afraid it was a blood clot.  He had it ultra sounded and was blessed it is just a varicose blood clot (phel-something) not the dangerous kind that puts you in the hospital and can kill you.  He said I need to elevate my leg above my heart and put heat on it.  HE SAID I COULD NOT WORK FOR THE REST OF THE WEEK!!  I was so angry I started to cry. 

I am home, my leg is up, my toes are so long I cannot see the TV over them!  I am trying to hear what God is saying.  My friend, Darlene, (she is the one I call and cuss at when I am upset, okay she is one of the ones) said, “Your entire life has changed in the last five years, you started running and have not stopped.  Maybe God is trying to slow you down.”  Well, she may have a point.  I am tired and I may have been trying out for Super Woman wanna be.  I have always wanted to lay around and now that I can, I don’t wanna.  (Do you hear the whine?) 

Tomorrow I am having an endoscopy to see if I have an ulcer.  I really don’t think I have one but the doctor thinks it is necessary. 🙂

 Did I mention I have to wear support hose?  I think that is what threw me over the edge!  I am 46 years old.  Truly, I am asking God to show me whatEVER He wants me to see and I will try my best to be obedient.


Good day


Today I got up early and started praying.  My prayer was that I would be brave.  I did not want to go to my iron transfusion because  of the fear of not feeling well the rest of the week.  I whined a little, felt a little sorry for myself but knew I had to go so I could ultimately get better.

The nurses were running a little behind.  There were six people there getting chemotherapy.  I just cannot tell you what a humbling experience it is, not to lessen my problem  BUT IT IS MUCH LESS OF AN ILLNESS and COMPLETELY CURABLE.  I talked with a woman who had Stage 4 cancer, others were quiet and thoughtful.  We all slept off and on.  It was basically uneventful for me until I was startled awake.  One of the chemo patients had an allergic reaction and was having problems breathing.  I started praying for the sweet woman.  As they got her stable my heart beat started to slow again and I started to thank Jesus for helping her and me.

I got home, tired, but at peace.  Nothing I will go through will be to the degree of those I was with today.  I got a good report on my Iron.  It is up to a 9 from a 5.6.  I am working toward 12-14.   Another one of my numbers was up from a14 to a 29, working towards 35-49.   I may have a few bad days but it will put me a couple of points closer to being better.  I am counting my blessings, I am on my way!

Our church provided a meal through a sweet family.  It was such a blessing to my family.

Treatment day

Oh boy, one more treatment to feeling better.  The last one was pretty rough for about five days but you never know this one could be better.  (fingers crossed)  fingers-004

I wanted to give my girls something each year that would be special.  I started each one a collection, Kayla, nutcrackers and Candace, snow globes.  Each year I give them a new one.  Kayla now has 18 and we decided that was enough and now we are going to start giving her a decoration each year.  The plan is when they start their own home they will take their collection and decorations with them and have something to get them started.

Kayla’s nutcrackers are displayed over my kitchen cabinets.  It is the perfect place to display so many!

Kayla's nutcrackers

Kayla's nutcrackers

The rest of the crackers

The rest of the crackers

Candace’s snow globes are scattered around our den.


It is also that time to decorate the tree.  We each have a job.  Keith makes a million and one trips to the basement.  Kayla puts up her nutcrackers.  Candace and I put out the nativity scene.  My least favorite job is to make all the limbs of the tree look “real” and there to not be any holes when you look at it.  It takes FOREVER!  Keith and Kayla put of the lights (Keith must borrow neighbor, Steve’s, ladder each year) and the angel tree topper that has basically lost her lights and her wings are not so pretty.  Then we all decorate the tree together.  We have a great time.  It does not take to long and we are all happy to see Keith headed back down to the basement with the empty boxes.

Christmas tree 2008

Christmas tree 2008

The Fam

The Fam

Tis the season to be jolly and thankful for such a wonderfully family.

Please help me :)

My daughter, Candace, aka Candy, just got her braces off. She blogged about it and is hoping people will make a comment. I just have to say it means the world to me when people make a comment on my blog so I know to her it is a big deal. Every time anyone makes a comment on her blog, http://iamcandy.wordpress.com/ she reads to me the comment. She is so funny, she looks at her blog stats and smiles when she realizes people have looked at what she has written.

SOOOOOO, all that to say, if you have time, please go by and visit Candy and type her a short note. It would bless me and my 10 year old!  (If you do not have a blog you can still leave a comment.)

Peach and love, Ruthie

Curve ball blessing

This year anemia through me a Thanksgiving curve ball.  How can I host 20 people, do the turkey, dressing, gravy and pies?  In the past, I have always acted like a whirlwind rushing around, cooking, cleaning and wanting everything to be just right.  This year, no energy, doctors telling me to seriously take it easy and rest, and my sweet husband demanding that I find a way to do less or I would not be having anything at my house made me realize that others were more than happy to take over.

Jim made the most amazing turkey, one of the best I have ever eaten.  My mom and sister made dressing, pies, gravy, mashed potatoes and cleaned a million and one pots.  My sister-in-law and mother-in-law made the rest.  YUMMY!   I really just assisted a little and watched a lot.  The fellowship was sweet and I am doing well.  I love being in the kitchen with my mom, sister and girls.

My blessings came in letting others bless me.  I loved Thanksgiving.  It was a very laid back day.  Lots of great fellowship and food!

It was me

It was me

True confession time. It was me you cursed in the Wal-mart parking lot. I was the one who drove that big red truck and still cannot park it straight after three years! I know, if you can’t park it, don’t drive it. (As if I had a choice, do I look like a truck driver?) I know you cannot get your children in the backseat and your fanny is rubbing up against my dirty wheel well as you shimmy by and I am sorry!

Truthfully, in my defense, I had a rotten driver’s ed teacher! He had the biggest white man afro in the world, it distracts sixteen year old girls from what really matters (parking). He looked and acted a lot like Will Farrell in one of his stupid movies, except his fro was bigger!  He droned on and on about ten and two hand positioning on the steering wheel, the fact that you should check all your mirrors every seven seconds and other life saving techniques. If you now go and try to check your mirrors every seven seconds I will just forewarn you it makes you dizzy and cross-eyed! I seemed to talk a little to much in his class and he would try to embarrass me by telling me he would go up after church and tell my daddy I talked to much, I knew they were idle threats and talked on!

When I get to a parking lot I usually park way out so I can pull through and avoid the stares and glares as I come precariously close to your car. I can park a compact car (just barely) but a truck with an extra long bed is just not my specialty! So when you park next to me during the holiday rush just know I am SORRY!