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Archive for the ‘God’ Category

I am really not sure what God is trying to say to me, but He has my attention.  I really thought I was getting it, but maybe not.  Yesterday I had my second iron transfusion.  I expected today to be my good day before the side effects started to happen.  When I woke up my leg was hurting and when I put my pants it hurt for the material to touch my leg.  When I looked at my leg it was swollen and  gross looking.   Keith looked at it with concern and we decided I might need to go see a doctor because it hurt just to stand much less train people on concrete floors.

I was at the doctor by 8:00 a.m.  My doctor just happen to walk by and agreed to work me in.  He looked at my leg and was afraid it was a blood clot.  He had it ultra sounded and was blessed it is just a varicose blood clot (phel-something) not the dangerous kind that puts you in the hospital and can kill you.  He said I need to elevate my leg above my heart and put heat on it.  HE SAID I COULD NOT WORK FOR THE REST OF THE WEEK!!  I was so angry I started to cry. 

I am home, my leg is up, my toes are so long I cannot see the TV over them!  I am trying to hear what God is saying.  My friend, Darlene, (she is the one I call and cuss at when I am upset, okay she is one of the ones) said, “Your entire life has changed in the last five years, you started running and have not stopped.  Maybe God is trying to slow you down.”  Well, she may have a point.  I am tired and I may have been trying out for Super Woman wanna be.  I have always wanted to lay around and now that I can, I don’t wanna.  (Do you hear the whine?) 

Tomorrow I am having an endoscopy to see if I have an ulcer.  I really don’t think I have one but the doctor thinks it is necessary. 🙂

 Did I mention I have to wear support hose?  I think that is what threw me over the edge!  I am 46 years old.  Truly, I am asking God to show me whatEVER He wants me to see and I will try my best to be obedient.

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My parents are coming tomorrow for Thanksgiving.  Kayla is coming home tomorrow night (I cannot wait to love on my sweet girl.  We are glad she likes school, but we miss her BAAAADDDD!)  My sister, Susan, will be coming around the mountain on Wednesday.  (she lives in Asheville, North Carolina)   I have made her two batches of Chocolate Chip Cookie dough and frozen it so we can have hot cookies while she is here!  Sue and I love to snuggle up, watch movies, and eat cookies!!  WE ARE SO EXCITED TO HAVE EVERYONE!

Keith has been so wonderful helping me get the house ready. Physically I just have not had the energy and he has really done all the little things he knows means a lot to me.

My brother, Jim,  lives in Swaunee, Georgia.  He is taking over the turkey cooking.  He is an amazing cook!  Melinda, his wife, is making squash casserole.  (She is a southern cook! woohoo)  My mother-in-law, Carolyn, is making her yummy sweet potatoes with brown sugar, butter, and pecan topping; her scrumptious pumpkin gooey dessert,  and fresh green beans.  My mom is making the dressing and pecan pies.  Susan, my sister, is making the gravy.  You know what that leaves for me to do?   You guessed it, NOTHING!!  Well, I may have a few suggestions to make along the way.  (I have been accused more than once of being bossy in the kitchen)

I am planning on taking it easy and enjoying the family.   I am making my daddy chicken pot pie, apple pie and Jamaican Pumpkin Soup (all his favorites) for his arrival!   Knowing they are all coming makes the aches and pains not quite so painful!  It is so exciting !!!

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I got a call this morning that the hematologist wanted to work me in today.  She was great.  She let me know the good news is that I should be doing well by Christmas but I could have some pain over the next few weeks. 

Starting next Tuesday I am going to have three iron transfusions over a three week period.  Each one takes four hours.  She said my Iron should improve and be at an acceptable level by the New Year.  The only down side is that your bone marrow really needs the Iron so when you get the transfusion it soaks it up like a sponge and it tends to be painful.  They usually have patients take Ibuprofen but I am not allowed to take any.  They can give me prescription pain medicine if needed.

I am encouaged because this is completely reversible.  I am a little discouraged that this is at the holiday season when I want to be busy doing things with my family.  I am supposed to have 21 people at my house for Thanksgiving but I have been told I must take it easy, very easy for the next three weeks until the Iron can start to get in my system.  My heart is the greatest concern at this time, it is working extra hard to support my organs and they do not want it further stressed.  I know it is just a meal and that my health is more important, it is just that my parents are older and I do not know how many more times they will get to be with me, I want to cherish each of these times with them. 

The last words at the doctor’s today was to take it easy.  I am not sure how to define that.  I have to work, do homework and get dinner for my family.  I have family coming in next week.  Please pray the Lord gives me wisdom what taking it easy looks like.

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Medical Update

First, I just want to say how wonderful everyone has been to call me, blog me, email me, pray for me, bring me meals. Keith and I have been so blessed by our friends prayers and support. When you are going through tough times it makes you realize how much people love you and care for you, it is very humbling.

After a restful week and weekend I went to work for a couple of hours and then have been to two specialist today.

Dr. T, the Gastroenterologist, agreed with Dr. Davis that I was very fortunate to have been standing and functioning at the levels I have with the anemia. He thought the blood transfusion was good but that we was not sure we could get my iron up to an acceptable level by taking iron and felt I need to go to a Hematologist for Iron transfusions. He is also going to scope my stomach for ulcerations on December 5th.

Two hours later I went to see Dr. Smith who also concurred and shook his head with amazement. He said my Fariten levels were a 10 th of what they needed to be and that it did not show a registrable number. He said he really doubted I could get up to an acceptable number without the Iron transfusions. He said I may need one every year to keep me boosted up. He ordered 12 other blood test to see how my other vitamins and things looked.

I am waiting on an appointment time with the Hematologist.

I was glad Keith was with me because it is all a little overwhelming for doctors to say it is a miracle that I have been able to function. As I have rested the last five days I have been able to feel my body and not give those feelings a brush off with an excuse. I have been tired, my breathing is labored and I have a lot of short headaches. The great thing about feeling those things is that I know I have a real cause not just that I am stressed and/or depressed. The greatest feeling I have had has been thankfulness.

I am so thankful that God has been merciful and all the bad things that apparently could have happened have not and though it may take some time I should feel tremendously better! Oh, how God loves me!

How have you seen God’s mercy in your own life? Please share….

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Boy what a great weekend.  I am tired but that is not a complaint, just a fact of a very fun filled busy weekend!!  Kayla came home and we went shopping with Candace on Saturday.  I was not excited about shopping for me but I really needed some clothes.  Kayla was great in helping me find things that she approved of and that did not make me look really really old!  🙂 

We then went to our Blog Party and had a great time with my BFF Rob.   I loved meeting everyone and having time with Kayla and Robin. I love that Kayla is an adult and we can share adult things together!

Today we went to Kayla’s church.   It was a great sermon on encouraging others and how our words can change someones life for the good or bad.  He majored on the good and how affirming others is food to their soul. 

After church we got a burger and then helped Kayla pack up and leave to go back to school.  I should be used to it, but no, I always feel like part of me just left.  We love having her but love that she is ready to go back. 

Candace got upset earlier in the week because Kayla said to her she was on her way home, she meant her dorm room.  Candace said can you believe she said that is her home.  Candace said it just made me want to cry.   It was really sweet and I think very sensitive of her.  I am proud and truthfully a little sad that Kayla is gaining her independence and feeling like an individual.  She is an amazing young woman.  She is sensitive to us, respectful of our opinion but forging on to become this exciting person that is slowly evolving as she tries different things and risk change. 

I then went and worked out with my boss.  I almost threw up.  We did a workout called the Dirty Thirty.  We did thirty of each of these exercises:  jumping pull-ups, kettlebell swings, knee-ups, lunges, 60 jump ropes, 30 burpees (I could only do the push-up part, I was seeing stars as it was) and  back extensions.  It was grueling and it shows how out of shape I am. BUT I DID IT, that is what counts!  Tomorrow I am doing cardio and shoulders.

I then went and bought groceries, made an easy dinner, bathed and am now watching Iron Chef America and blogging.  I am ready for a great night sleep!

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Gloom–I love that word :)

 

One of the hardest things has been for me to accept that I disobeyed God’s word, I sowed seeds of disobedience and have reaped some hard labor, chains, prison (in my mind) and that God is willing to deliver me and set me free.  When I cry out to Him, He delivers me from my distress and breaks the chains that bind my heart and mind.  My natural self says I  don’t deserve His mercy and His rescue, I made mistakes and should be punished for the next ten years.  

He has been waiting for me to call on Him and so He could bring me out of my deepest gloom.  (Gloom is a great word for where I have been)  I am so humbled that He is so loving and forgiving.

It is important to know, my circumstances have not really changed that much, I don’t see any easy resolve on a day to day basis, BUT my prospective has changed,  I see God, His love, His patience, His hand of mercy.    I am truly blessed, things really could be worse. 

My joy today is not that there is no problem, my joy is that God has been merciful and kind.  He has been a loving Father who have forgiven and not given us what we deserve.    I see over and over how He delivered people and set their feet on higher ground.  I cannot stay depressed when I look at the past miracles He has REPEATEDLY performed for me and mine.  I must press on, believe in the unseen, trust in my Faithful Father.  I don’t know what He has instore, It may take ten years to resolve my problem BUT I know there will be joy, peace and love with God my Father walking with me.

Psalms 107

for they had rebelled against the words of God

and despised the counsel of the Most High.

So he subjected them to bitter labor;

they stumbled, and there was no one to help.

THEN THEY CRIED TO THE LORD IN THEIR TROUBLE,

AND HE SAVED THEM FROM THEIR DISTRESS.

HE BROUGHT THEM OUT OF DARKNESS AND

THE DEEPEST GLOOM

AND BROKE AWAY THEIR CHAINS.

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Psalm 107:4-14

Some wandered in desert wastelands,

finding no way to a city where they could settle.

They were hungry and thirsty, and their lives ebbed away.

Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble,

and he delivered them from their distress.

He led them by a straight way to a city where they could settle.

Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love

and his wonderful deeds for men,

for he satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things.

Some sat in darkness and the deepest gloom,

prisoners suffering in iron chains,

for they had rebelled against the words of God

and despised the counsel of the Most High.

So he subjected them to bitter labor;

they stumbled, and there was no one to help.

THEN THEY CRIED TO THE LORD IN THEIR TROUBLE,

AND HE SAVED THEM FROM THEIR DISTRESS.

HE BROUGHT THEM OUT OF DARKNESS AND

THE DEEPEST GLOOM

AND BROKE AWAY THEIR CHAINS.

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