Posts Tagged ‘Feelings’

I would apologize for being so honest but that is why I started blogging. I wanted somewhere that I could be real and explore the ups and downs of my journey towards a closer walk with God and finding out who He originally made me to be.

I love reading happy blogs, I love having a happy site, but for me right now that is not always real.

Right now I am pushing on. My circumstances really have not changed for the better but I must continue to find ways to push on towards joy and peace. There are a lot of great things in my life that I am truly thankful for and that keeps me going. I am trying to departmentalize so that I do not let the negative infect my entire day.

I know God is with me. I know He is using these situations to bring me to a new place. I have such a range of emotions and really want to keep feeling. No stuffing these feelings with anger, food, exercise or spending. I want to enjoy all three of those so I do not want any of them to be out of balance. I have no money to spend so that makes that one easy, lol. I have not been exercising and that is not balance for me. I am working on that one. The eating is at a pretty good place. I go from very angry to weeping to numb. Numb keeps me in the game of life, angry is not pretty and weeping is just not fun!

I do find joy in my children, my friends and my job right now. My job gives me a structures that keeps me from thinking to much. My children are like balm to my heart. Their love makes it easier to breathe and keep moving. My friend Rob knows when to push and when to shove and when to listen. I need all sides of her. My God just keeps gently reminding me that He is beside me.

I really don’t have time to break down. I need to push on, keep moving and I think I will be okay. Wallowing in self pity really does not look pretty on me. :0)


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Today I had a great day at work. I am in charge of a project that was in a mess. I am beginning to get it organized and starting to see positive cash flow from my work. It makes me feel good and makes my boss very happy.

Today I had a client that has been going through some difficult times. I felt that I was able to be there in the way she needed. When she left I think we both felt better.

Today we did homework with only a few tears. I am not sure who it was more stressful for, me or Candace.

Today I actually got a card to my bestest friend in the whole world. I buy them all the time for her, I have stacks of them, but never send them.

Today I have exercised.

Today I talked with God. I realized that part of the reason I feel uncomfortable with Him is because I have too much of the world influence and not enough God stuff around in my daily life (music, good books, up lifting conversations). I am excited. I read a book that explained me and how I am with God right now. It made sense.

I needed today to be like it has been. I feel good about today.

How was your day?

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