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Posts Tagged ‘pain’

I got a call this morning that the hematologist wanted to work me in today.  She was great.  She let me know the good news is that I should be doing well by Christmas but I could have some pain over the next few weeks. 

Starting next Tuesday I am going to have three iron transfusions over a three week period.  Each one takes four hours.  She said my Iron should improve and be at an acceptable level by the New Year.  The only down side is that your bone marrow really needs the Iron so when you get the transfusion it soaks it up like a sponge and it tends to be painful.  They usually have patients take Ibuprofen but I am not allowed to take any.  They can give me prescription pain medicine if needed.

I am encouaged because this is completely reversible.  I am a little discouraged that this is at the holiday season when I want to be busy doing things with my family.  I am supposed to have 21 people at my house for Thanksgiving but I have been told I must take it easy, very easy for the next three weeks until the Iron can start to get in my system.  My heart is the greatest concern at this time, it is working extra hard to support my organs and they do not want it further stressed.  I know it is just a meal and that my health is more important, it is just that my parents are older and I do not know how many more times they will get to be with me, I want to cherish each of these times with them. 

The last words at the doctor’s today was to take it easy.  I am not sure how to define that.  I have to work, do homework and get dinner for my family.  I have family coming in next week.  Please pray the Lord gives me wisdom what taking it easy looks like.

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I would apologize for being so honest but that is why I started blogging. I wanted somewhere that I could be real and explore the ups and downs of my journey towards a closer walk with God and finding out who He originally made me to be.

I love reading happy blogs, I love having a happy site, but for me right now that is not always real.

Right now I am pushing on. My circumstances really have not changed for the better but I must continue to find ways to push on towards joy and peace. There are a lot of great things in my life that I am truly thankful for and that keeps me going. I am trying to departmentalize so that I do not let the negative infect my entire day.

I know God is with me. I know He is using these situations to bring me to a new place. I have such a range of emotions and really want to keep feeling. No stuffing these feelings with anger, food, exercise or spending. I want to enjoy all three of those so I do not want any of them to be out of balance. I have no money to spend so that makes that one easy, lol. I have not been exercising and that is not balance for me. I am working on that one. The eating is at a pretty good place. I go from very angry to weeping to numb. Numb keeps me in the game of life, angry is not pretty and weeping is just not fun!

I do find joy in my children, my friends and my job right now. My job gives me a structures that keeps me from thinking to much. My children are like balm to my heart. Their love makes it easier to breathe and keep moving. My friend Rob knows when to push and when to shove and when to listen. I need all sides of her. My God just keeps gently reminding me that He is beside me.

I really don’t have time to break down. I need to push on, keep moving and I think I will be okay. Wallowing in self pity really does not look pretty on me. :0)

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FOR EXTERNAL USE ONLY

My last gynogologiest exam I had was quite an experience. I went right when I left work and waited for quite a while. When I went in for the exam the nurse left me my little paper sheet and told me to get fully undressed. I undressed and waited some more. Of course, I forgot to get a magazine so I was looking around and saw a big thing of wipes. I then got the bright idea that I might need to refresh myself for the doctor so I got off the table got a wipe and proceed to clean myself. BAD idea. My little lady (that is what we call “it” in our house) was on FIRE. I truly thought I was going to scream the pain was so intense. I quickly read the wipe bottle and it said anti-bacterial wipes for external use only. I think they must be there for them to clean the tables off, not humans! Hmmm, maybe it was not such a good idea. The pain lasted for a couple of minutes and I was so afraid the doctor was going to see a red swollen little lady. I was quite embarrassed but after waiting so long the pain decreased and I guess the redness did also. Painful lesson! Surely I learned my lesson and would never do anything that stupid again?

Yesterday I went for a massage. I have hip issues and I thought maybe a massage would help. I had been at work and did not take a shower before I went for the massage. In the past I always want to make sure my feet don’t stink so after I take my tennis shoes off I use their anti-bacterial hand sanitizer on my feet. I am able to relax and know my feet smell fresh.

Well yesterday I got the bright idea to use the HAND sanitizer to make sure I smelled fresh EVERYWHERE. BAD IDEA! I put some on a tissue and proceed to quickly sponge bath myself. It only took at 15 seconds for me to feel like my little lady was on FIRE and wanted to do a little dance to cool it off. The pain did not last long, but it was intense and long enough that I would NEVER ever do it again. Needless to say, I felt fresh!

Maybe I have truly learned my lesson this time. I will let you know!

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Love language

Candace woke up with her mouth killing her. The rubber came off one of her braces wires and she slept on that side and the wire dug into her cheek. I felt so bad for her. Her daddy had missed work yesterday because he was sick so he was ready to get to work, but instead he went to the drug store and got long strips of wax to try and alleviate the pain until I could get her in the orthodontist later today. It greatly helped her and I was able to only be two minutes late to work. I was about to complete stress and break down and he just quietly did what was needed to save the day, he never complained and I know he was dying to get to work.

Keith continues to amaze me. He loves his job, he is a great elementary school principal. There is a lot of pressure this year because he is at a new school but he is continual trying to let me see that he is putting us first. It is important to me that he is home for dinner and he strives to be home on time and eat with us. He helps with the homework and does the pots after dinner.

I truly feel we are equals and that we are working together to make this busy life fun and manageable. He loves me and I feel it greatly today. He is speaking my love language.

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